the third one
I thought I was flying but maybe I’m dying
Happy new year! 🎉🎊🎉
(even though it’s February).
My people say that when you wake up is your morning, or something like that, and since this is the first time I’ve been able to write this this year, it's a happy new year to you, my dear reader.
I moved here (Accra) about a month ago, and I’ve spent a good chunk of that time in my room, alone. Mostly talking to a boy I like on the phone, or playing music and phone games obsessively, re-acquainting myself with my old friend, loneliness. It managed to find me everywhere. In the unfamiliar brands at the supermarket, with me realising that I still don’t know where to buy bananas here, or waking up in my room after a random afternoon nap, and having it feel violently foreign.
Sometimes I worry that talking about it like this can give it too much power over me, over my headspace and the things I focus on, but the truth is that talking about it is how I can release myself from its pervasive power. If I’m being honest, I foresee more of this in the coming month. But loneliness isn’t an old friend for no reason. I know it well, so I know it will pass.
Eventually I’ll fill my life here, and everything good will come.
what I’ve been watching:
A lot of tv shows and movies, because it has been a while since the last email. But here’s what I’ve seen recently.
Hip-Hop Evolution
This one was a strongly recommended documentary. I binged watched the latest season in one afternoon! It was that good. I found the older seasons after I finished the last one, so I’m still watching this. If you enjoy music in general -not just hiphop- then this would be right up your alley.
Outlander
This one slowly deteriorated into a verra annoying watch. The characters made consistently bad decisions, so it became tough to continue rooting for them. The lead male is amazing to look at and the lead female character is a phenomenal actress, so at least you won’t be annoyed AND irritated. I’m saying it here so you don’t waste your time with it. You’re welcome.
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Brilliant fun with amazing talent as usual. My faves from this year are Symone, Olivia Lux and the Yvie Oddly from this year. (If you watch the show, you know who I’m talking about. 😂) This is the perfect thing to watch on Saturday morning while you scroll through social media and try to decide what you want to do with your life that weekend.
Parks and Recreation
This is an old show that I’ve recently started to watch for “research” and it is not bad at all. It stays very true to the formula we fell in love with in The Office formula and it does that well and gets a lot of things right. I would recommend.
what I’ve been reading:
what I’ve been listening to:
Songs mostly. I am open to podcast recommendations if anybody has one. Although now that I think about it, I wonder if I finished listening to the last one I gushed about. Anyway, let’s get to it.
Love & light. P.S: The title is my favourite line from Florence & the Machine’s Sky Full of Song. As someone who’s a little awkward, with a tendency to be oblivious to most non-literal comms and what passes as “normal”, I often feel like I am flying in situations where I am, in fact, dying.
Yeah... Happy New Year only it felt like every other day for me at the beginning but greatful to be part of it. What feels like I am flying is my career meanwhile I am dying. A constant struggle to feel a sense of worth in that aspect yet so many things in need that I can't reach to attain. I'll try picking up a book soon... For music still can't say.